loss of the gay radar

One thing even a seasoned foreign woman has to accept upon arriving to Taipei is a complete LOSS OF THE GAY RADAR. Aside from the accessories, it is common for two young, attractive, metro-sexually clad boys to stand in a nightclub or party with their arms around each other, and deep in conversation. My final misjudgement came about nine months ago in Barrio, a Latin nightclub down the road from my apartment. Put on my stilettos for a moment, and picture the scene: a Lone Ranger was casually seated by the bar; he had come down just to see the DJ - an ultra-hip, dreadlocked Asian boy with Latin moves. In each song break the DJ sauntered over to the Lone Ranger to ‘whisper dreams’ and exchange meaningful looks. After a couple of tequilas I invited the Lone Ranger to dance, and met rejection. Not one to accept straight-out rejections (as my Aquarian friends well know), I took it as an indication of faithfulness to his lover. In my mind it was all logical assumption, and found my thoughts verbalising - “you’re very dedicated to come here and watch your boyfriend work.” This led to some spluttered confusion, and adamant denials of my claim. It also led to the dance floor for some serious grinding, which is completely out of character for your average Chinese punter, and a brusque, awkward, yet unrelenting bear hug to prove he liked women … the DJ couldn’t stop laughing! I have since avoided shocking any “non-couple” couples by not enquiring about their relationships.
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hello kitty is for everyone

If Australia teaches us that everyone looks stylish in thongs and a beanie, Taiwan has taught me HELLO KITTY IS FOR EVERYONE, not just five year old girls. Taiwanese men of all ages love this icon of Japanese imperialism. This is not to say Taiwan doesn’t have the macho, macho, macho man of course – Confucius has made sure men keep their ‘rightful’ place. However, instead of worshipping the clueless, D-cupped, beer-sculling blonde who frequents the Grand, the Taiwanese macho goes for cutesy, whining, pouting creatures, who act as helplessly as humanly possible, and dress in hot pants and fur parkas. These traits ignite his desire to protect and guide the weaker sex, and justify catering to her every childish whim. He also insists on paying at all times, and has tendencies to become physical if this right is denied. I once had a ‘whim’ for 7-11 instant noodles, and ended up with a bruised arm. Despite this ‘manly’ behaviour, he may: come decked out in a pink or purple Hello Kitty motorbike helmet with a matching raincoat; carry a man-bag adorned with small, pastel plush-toys; wear hoop ear-rings to dinner; hang a plethora of trinkets on his phone; and stage a full array of painted nails with jewelled decorations – and all this without fear of ridicule.

Can you imagine your typical beer-swilling, footy-lovin’, pie-munchin’ bloke out of his wife-beater, and in this get-up?? It’d give the Grand a serious face-lift!!
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