Generally speaking, dating in Taipei is in serious slow motion – and it’s the longest road you could possibly imagine to establish a long-term relationship. The flow plan goes something like this: introduced by friends – 6 to 12 months of courtship called friendship – relationship founded – another 6 to 12 months of kissing – copulation (maybe) – marriage. An alternative route is: high school classmates – long-standing friendship for 2 to 5 years – relationship founded – kissing, copulation – marriage. THE SECOND FLOW PLAN is a romantic story I have seen in action – a friend of mine (who is now 23), has just started dating a boy who was on the same cheerleading squad as her in high school!
So ladies, if you want to date in Taipei, forget about giving smutty, sex looks in nightclubs – they definitely don’t lead to love, and for all the attention they are given, you might as well fuck the wall. Nevertheless, if you don’t have a spare twelve years to invest in one of the flow plans sex is readily available - bear in mind all men get hard-ons. And, more often than not, Chinese boys are too polite (or scared) to say no – even if they really want to. To this day I ascertain, and I am not an innocent, that there are many terrified Chinese boys accosted in foreign pads. I have even seen one teary specimen in the stairwell outside my apartment, after being man-handled by one of my roomies.
The greatest slow-motion dating conundrum though, has to be the six month stretches between phone calls. Lengthy breaks between messages (with no mention of time passed), is not only a recurring pattern, but integral to the dating scene. I once went out with a tall, stylish, Louis Vuitton sales assistant, only to get a text from him eight months later which said: this is austin, do u remember me? merry xmas. On this point about dating Chinese men, I may remain permanently in the dark - some behaviour is truly confounding, and not even I can construct a convincing explanation.
As a result, my cell phone is frequented by sporadic calls from Zhi-Wei, Huang-Wei, Wei-Zhen, Wei-Zhang, Wei-Chang and Wei-Ming, of whom I haven’t the foggiest ability to discern. My closest Taiwanese confidante told me: “Chinese boys are shy and probably wait for you to call; they just plan their next move” … for six months?? Apparently I have the problem, and this is a-ok – its all just part of dating in Taipei. So, in true Taiwanese style I sent an SMS to One-Way last night, (after all it has been five months since he last texted) – he was of course thrilled to hear from me!
*
So ladies, if you want to date in Taipei, forget about giving smutty, sex looks in nightclubs – they definitely don’t lead to love, and for all the attention they are given, you might as well fuck the wall. Nevertheless, if you don’t have a spare twelve years to invest in one of the flow plans sex is readily available - bear in mind all men get hard-ons. And, more often than not, Chinese boys are too polite (or scared) to say no – even if they really want to. To this day I ascertain, and I am not an innocent, that there are many terrified Chinese boys accosted in foreign pads. I have even seen one teary specimen in the stairwell outside my apartment, after being man-handled by one of my roomies.
The greatest slow-motion dating conundrum though, has to be the six month stretches between phone calls. Lengthy breaks between messages (with no mention of time passed), is not only a recurring pattern, but integral to the dating scene. I once went out with a tall, stylish, Louis Vuitton sales assistant, only to get a text from him eight months later which said: this is austin, do u remember me? merry xmas. On this point about dating Chinese men, I may remain permanently in the dark - some behaviour is truly confounding, and not even I can construct a convincing explanation.
As a result, my cell phone is frequented by sporadic calls from Zhi-Wei, Huang-Wei, Wei-Zhen, Wei-Zhang, Wei-Chang and Wei-Ming, of whom I haven’t the foggiest ability to discern. My closest Taiwanese confidante told me: “Chinese boys are shy and probably wait for you to call; they just plan their next move” … for six months?? Apparently I have the problem, and this is a-ok – its all just part of dating in Taipei. So, in true Taiwanese style I sent an SMS to One-Way last night, (after all it has been five months since he last texted) – he was of course thrilled to hear from me!
*
